5 Questions with Rivka Rivera ("Are you Ok? Cause I'm Ok.")
1) Can you talk briefly about your background, and how you first got interested in filmmaking?
I’m a Jew-Yo-Rican artist born and raised in Brooklyn NY. I’ve been a performer since I was 5. My first role was “Shlomo” the Rabbi’s nephew in Fiddle on the Roof and I was hooked. For HS, I went to Fiorello H. Laguardia (the “Fame” School) and that’s where I really became serious about acting. From there, I went on to receive my BFA at Carnegie Mellon University. My father is a documentary filmmaker and so I inherited my ‘lens’ of the world and the desire to capture life on film from him.
2) What was the initial idea for this project and how did it evolve from there?
Throughout the years my mother and I have played many roles in each others’ lives: best friends, mortal enemies, caretakers, co-conspirators, sisters... But most importantly my mother has always been my favorite creative muse and greatest support. So when I asked my mother if she would take mushrooms with me on the Jersey Shore and let me film it (an urge born from the depths of late-20’s Saturn Return euphoric desperation) … although hesitant she said YES. What transpired was a pivotal moment in both our lives as we explored our relationship through a psychedelic lens. But the trip didn’t stop when the mushrooms wore off.
My goal in making Are You OK? Cause I’m OK was to combine the documentary footage of our trip with recreated footage of ourselves into one cohesive film. We spent the following year unpacking what the experience meant to us through dance, writing, and other forms of improv and returned the next summer to the same house with our D.P. Meredith Adelaide to recreate the experience from our trip starring as ourselves. What I did not anticipate was that even more than taking the mushrooms, the creative process would open up a doorway for my mother and me to connect on a higher plane.
This film is an exploration of death and belonging with the person who gave me life: my mom. I have always felt a longing for more open dialogue around dying. It has always felt strange from a young age that this most primal inevitable truth should be hidden from us, banned from daily conversation. Our culture seems to hide death from us when it would be healing to normalize it. Psilocybin is used medicinally to soothe the “death anxiety” experienced by the terminally ill. But we all have the same fate. We will all pass and we all have anxiety around this.
In making this film, I had to confront my biggest fear, my mom’s inevitable death as well as my own. Since this pandemic began there has been so much death and grief. I hope that this movie allows audiences to sit with their emotions, fears, questions about dying the way making it has allowed me to do.
3) What was the biggest challenge in making this film? And the easiest part?
One of the biggest challenges was in the editing process. Because of the way in which we approached shooting like a trip, we had a lot of footage. We also wanted to match the documentary footage to the recreated footage. So the story and the themes of the film were really shaped in the post-production process and that became where the script was formed as well. I worked with a few editors whose collaboration was essential. The story is also so personal and really required me as a director to see myself as a character and be able to have an objective perspective. It was very cathartic in a lot of ways to be able to see yourself and your actions and without judgement be able to ask well “why was she really motivated to do this.” In answering that question I realized so much of my character was driven by an urgent need to create which sometimes puts other people’s need last. That is where the line “your art is more important than your compassion” comes from. I made a choice in directing that I wanted to explore these motives and sides of myself as an artist, even when it was uncomfortable to do so. Recently I was in a ClubHouse conversation where Rick Doblin, the founder of MAPS was speaking and he was talking about the importance of reintegration after you trip on psychedelics. Reintegration meaning the time you come back into yourself. Some people will skip this altogether which can make the ‘come down’ experience not so great. Some people will reintegrate with a therapist and can really learn a lot from their trip. I realized that for me, the process of re-creating the trip and shaping this film in post-production was my re-integration.
4) What’s a film you’ve seen recently, new or old, that you really loved and why?
I saw MINARI recently and thought it was incredible. I was blown away by the performances and the tenderness of the story telling.
5) What’s next for you?
I’m currently writing a play also inspired by my family. I am also a member of Irondale Ensemble Theater where I am a co-creator of a program call ‘To Protect, Serve and Understand.’ TPSU is a program that brings together NYPD Officers and Civilians to explore issues of power, policing, and systemic racism. We do this using improv and theater. We have an upcoming zoom performance this April. You can learn more at my website: www.RivkaRivera.com.
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IG: @therivkarivera