5 Questions with Kailee McGee
In her self-portrait short film, “The Person I Am When No One is Looking,” director Kailee McGee looks to find a separation between her online persona and the real her. We asked McGee about the origins of the project, her history and relationship with social media, and what comes next for her…
1) How did it all start? What was the original seed?
It started with my fascination in how people present themselves on social media — the seemingly effortless yet constructed public persona. I wanted to examine our desire to self-actualize through creating perfect, curated digital selves and then being seen by other people. Social media is a guilty pleasure of sorts where we seek to consume and fulfill our fantasies. And, I wonder: maybe the person I am actually trying the hardest to impress is myself?
Typically, there isn’t a lot of vulnerability in what we post, which makes me sad. Moments are staged or planned, edited and altered to convey a certain attitude and existence. So, I decided to use myself and my life as a canvas to maximize vulnerability and make a short film — nothing says the opposite of effortless quite like making an indie film.
2) I know that your last film “#blessed” took several years to complete and release. How about this one? How long has it taken to get to this point? How would you compare the two experiences in general?
This timeline has been much faster. We shot over several days last summer, and the film was completed by mid-September. I hosted a private screening of the film in LA for about 75 people shortly after finishing the film. Two days before the screening, I laid on my living-room floor crying because I was afraid the film was too weird, too much of me, too meta, too everything. Sharing art still feels tricky — even now, days before the online premiere, I am second guessing myself. Does that ever change?
3) There’s so many elements in play here, and it’s all beautifully pulled off. I’d love to hear about your process. It feels so natural and free-flowing. Do you write everything out in script form? Do you get feedback from people, and at what stage(s)?
Thank you. Yes, everything is eventually packaged in a script. My scripts are usually pretty minimal in terms of descriptions, and it takes me awhile to take the story to script form. I write a lot of miscellaneous ideas, lines, and visual moments in my notebook and on my phone Notes app. There are usually many tiny inspirations circling, and then things connect somehow and a main idea takes form. Once I discover that kernel, I’ll tell a couple of my close creative buddies — mostly as a way to force myself to be able to describe it and also to assess it if seems like something worth developing. If so, I proceed with a new found bounce in my step and then begin to shape the story in my mind constantly. I write an outline and do a brain dump while simultaneously assembling a vision/mood/tone board in Google Slides. Finally, I write the script… then I ask my BAE collaborator, Rich Costales, to read it and tell me if it’s trash. With The Person I Am When No One Is Looking, there are only a few changes from version one to the shooting script.
4) It’s hard to stand out with this subject matter - I usually struggle with movies where Twitter or IG are major talking points, but I think this is one of the more definitive short films about the current state of social media and our culture’s obsession with it. What was your first experience with social media? Can you talk me through the different stages of how you’ve used it?
Summer of 2005, I got Facebook before going to NYU; it was really a game changer for me. Back then it was just one profile photo and a text wall; I was floored by looking at digital representations of real people who I would soon meet - classmates, roommates, dormmates. As Facebook expanded features allowing users to upload more information and photo albums, I became the go to kid for breaking down what your Facebook profile said about you. Friends said I should write a book on Facebook etiquette. I was paid to makeover people’s profiles to project a more desired persona. It fascinated me a lot — because I love humans and as a writer, it felt like an extended universe of character detail building.
When Instagram became a thing in the early 2010’s, I was still living in New York, and I was hesitant to join. Buddies were scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, and I was put off — which eventually morphed into feeling left out. I joined Instagram in 2012 and have been posting as a version of myself ever since. I rarely post anything “real,” but then again, what does it mean to be real these days?
5) What is a film you’ve seen recently, new or old, that really resonated with you, and why?
I recently watched All This Panic (2016) and was captivated by the incredible access to its teenage girl subjects and how the filmmakers were able to capture such authentic and intimate moments. It’s a beautiful approach to the coming-of-age story.
Bonus Question: What’s next for you?
Working on another short. Developing a show. Applying to a handful of labs. Directing digital/branded content to pay the bills. Refining my morning routine. Searching for the perfect pair of pants!
Contact Info:
IG: @kittypawsxoxo
Email: kittypawsxoxo@gmail.com