5 Questions with Nic Murphy ("Usually I'm Very Supportive of Delusion")
1) What have you been up to since we last spoke?
I had such a good time premiering SPICE ISLANDS on NoBudge that I actually woke USUALLY I'M VERY SUPPORTIVE OF DELUSION up from the hard-drive it was sleeping on, dusted it off, thought to myself: "hey maybe someone should see this."
Both of these shorts were actually shot and edited at somewhat of a similar time, in a way companion pieces, both dealing with my well-worn themes of reality/dis-reality, gender, and the insanity of humans trying to be sane. Both shot in the apartment I no longer live at, both featuring a version of myself as director, the actors as themselves. DELUSION has had a wide range of responses from the few I've shown it to, some people saying it's their favorite work of mine, others that: "it's not really a film." I think that diversity is kind of fun, if harrowing for me emotionally (ha ha).
2) What’s the backstory here - what was the initial idea and how did it evolve from there?
Jessica Garrison (writer), Alex Arthur (actress) and I are all in a Los Angeles Theater Company together (PUBLIC ASSEMBLY) and a version of this piece was preformed as a monologue at one of our monthly events. I wasn't involved in that version, though I was a massive fan of how it came out, and a long-term massive fan of both my dear friends Jessica and Alex. I mean, how can you not be a fan of Jessica Garrison, "The Killer Queen of East LA?" (Check out Jessica's short, DIME, premiered on NoBudge February 2020).
And so, after that show, I approached them both to see if they were interested in collaborating on a filmed version. They were, and this piece was born. The filmed product is definitely different from the theatrical version, but I worked very hard to keep the core the same, and I'm hopeful I succeeded.
3) What was the biggest challenge in making this film? And generally what part of the creative process do you enjoy the most, and the least?
This was the first time I've ever used another person's words (wow!) in one of my pieces. Exciting. Scary.
I was comfortable taking this previously un-stepped step specifically here, because I relate so deeply to Jessica's writing and think it of such high quality, both of which are huge blessings and made me confident I could do the piece justice even if it was not born from my deep-mind.
But still, quite a challenge / learning experience in trying to balance staying true to her words with molding the entire piece into the different medium, and into me as a different director. As I worked on the script, I took a massive, obsessive, 2-week deep dive into Jessica's writing, combing through her short story collection (CIRCLING THE COAST, LOOKING FOR BREAD), pulling out quotes like a mad-man, trying to fit them into the filmed piece as a kind of tribute to her whole body of work.
Ultimately, not a lot of this extra writing made it into the finished film (we both agreed it was cleaner without, and it is) though I will proudly admit the title (which I love and makes the whole piece work) is from that writing of hers. So I'm glad I did that crazy-person-creative-stalk.
As I was editing, this film basically became a love letter to two really sincerely talented women who's insanity I deeply relate to. All three of us are absolute crazy people, and this collaboration really did make me feel intimately connected, the deep relief that I am not alone in my craziness, that I am perhaps not an alien but a human being.
Least enjoyable? Probably this moment, thinking if Jessica's going to be mad at me for saying any of this! (Hah!)
From CIRCLING THE COAST, LOOKING FOR BREAD, by Jessica Garrison:
"Usually I'm very supportive of delusion. I find optimism against almost all obstacles. It's one of my best character traits. I'll probably die seeing all the possibilities, the bright side of the next life. But it happened to be my birthday, and the dark cloud of 'what have I accomplished and does anyone actually love me' obscured my sunny perspective."
4) What’s a film you’ve seen recently, new or old, that you really loved and why?
I just watched CLOSE UP again by Abbas Kiarostami, which is in some ways the ultimate reality/dis-reality movie, and a movie that sincerely inspires me both creatively and emotionally. Three layers of reality/dis-reality!
I find this movie to be so alive, with both the intensity of documentary and the beauty of narrative. Alive and also so cuttingly deep and complex about the suffering of life, and how we are so desperate to share our suffering with the world, through art, through personal interaction, through anything. Maybe that's why I like this genre of blended meta art, because it connects the fantasy of living to the reality of living, and when that touches in the perfect way, man you can really clearly see both the infinite beauty and absolutely horror of our humanity's existential situation - a clarity which I find sometime escapes pure documentary, or pure narrative.
5) What’s next for you?
Still directing CAGES, producing two more Spring 2020 LA Immersive Theater shows, slowly working on Nic Murphy Short #7. We'll see what happens.
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IG: @nharrisonmurphy