An exploration of social anxiety and identity, “Who Are You Really?” tracks a shy college student through an awkward party. We asked director Nande Walters how the project started, what the biggest challenge was, and what comes next for her…

1) Can you talk briefly about your background, and how you first got interested in filmmaking?

In middle school, I was obsessed with young adult fiction like Harry Potter. Since then I’ve known I’ve wanted to be a writer, but in high school, I realized that I was more interested in visual storytelling. I was obsessed with fantasy and science fiction movies like I was with books, and about 4 years ago I knew filmmaking was what I was going to do with my life. I was set on going to film school far away from home and moving away from South Florida. I’m now a sophomore at Pratt Institute, and being in New York for a year and a half has made me interested in coming of age stories, especially ones about women, black people, and queer people. Representation is important to me when it comes to the films I watch, write about, and make.

2) What’s the backstory here - what was the initial idea and how did it evolve from there?

The idea behind 'Who Are You Really?' actually came from a screenshot of a Reddit post that someone sent me a long time ago. The post was titled ‘A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone who knows you.’ and talked about how “yourself” is not the same you as it is to your mom or your coworker, or a stranger you made eye contact with. This very existential idea was in the back of my mind for about a year. In my first year of college, I experienced a lot of anxiety moving to New York City, being alone, and new making friends, and I thought I was one only person who felt that way. But in the middle of my 2nd semester, my friends and I went to an awkward party and it wasn’t until the next day I realized that I wasn’t the only one who felt so socially anxious. My friends, who I saw as extremely social and confident, were fearful too. From the conversations we had about that party and the past few months of college, I started writing the script for 'Who Are You Really?' It was a very messy and rough script for a long time but what I visualized the film becoming was so clear. I wanted to channel what I’ve experienced personally but make it look surreal and feel like whoever’s watching it is questioning reality. My actress Seeret is in my bedroom, looking into the mirror I looked at every day, hanging out with my friends, walking in Clinton Hill as I do. When I showed my friends my rough cuts of the film, they said Seeret reminded them of me in the way she laughed and carried herself. So that made the experience even more surreal since the film is like a reenactment of my life. I was extremely happy with the way it resonated with the people in my life, with my mom, with friends I haven’t talked to in a long time. Everyone could relate and connect to it and I loved that so much. When I presented the film in class my friend gave me the biggest hug and said, “Thank you for making this.” I realized that the voice I’ve had my whole life and the stories I’ve been too shy to share are worth sharing. I hope to continue to move people emotionally by my films and tell stores that are genuine to me.

3) What was the biggest challenge in making this film? And generally what part of the creative process do you enjoy the best, and the least?

'Who Are You Really?' was my final for a class in my second semester of college, so time was my biggest challenge. It was made in about two months from the pitch to showing it in class. It was a very guerrilla-style project from finding actors to finding time to film. Production is my least favorite part of filmmaking, even though it’s a lot of people’s favorite, it’s extremely stressful to me. I had an actor cancel on me two hours before the shoot and had to re-write the script in my head to work around that absence. I’m someone who likes doing everything by myself and finds it hard to ask for help, but I'm extremely lucky to have friends like Grace (DP), Mackie and Christian (Sound), and Julian (Acting) who volunteered their time to help me over a weekend. And Toni and Seeret who were two of the few actors who got back to me on Backstage and were available to shoot. Editing is my favorite stage of filmmaking without question. I think playing PC games as a kid makes being on a computer like second nature to me, and I feel like I can organize and put videos together very naturally when editing. It’s not like when I’m directing and I’m running around like a chicken with my head cut off, editing is just me alone and in control, so it’s what I want to continue doing for my films and others.

4) What’s a film you’ve seen recently, new or old, that you really loved and why?

Honey Boy is the last film I saw and theaters and really loved. Watching Shia Lebouf’s life story made into such a personal and genuine film made me leave the theater with chills. Stories about adolescence and trauma are what I want to make personally, and even though Honey Boy was difficult and heartbreaking to watch, it’s a film I think about often and will use as a reference in the future.

5) What’s next for you?

I’m currently working on a documentary project called Bloodline that explores my family tree and history. I’m a very nostalgic person and I learn more and more about my family as I get older. I want to condense all of this retrospection and investigation into a few videos, so I plan on having it be like a documentary series. I made the first video of the series this fall for one of my film finals for a class. I’m really proud of it and worked on it endlessly, so look out for links to that in the future.

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Website: https://nandewalters.com/

Instagram: @nandewalters